Tag Archives: corporations

Who Does This Pope Think He Is?

Okay, I’m done. Over it. Finished. I’ve had it. I  gave this guy every chance, but this time he went too far.

I was fine when the previous two Popes were all bent out of shape about contraception and abortion and gay marriage. As long as the Catholic Church was obsessed with how other people behaved in their private lives, I had no problem with the Pontiff. I’m not gay and my wife is too old to have any more kids, so what do I care?

But this time it’s personal. Who the Hell does this Pope Francis guy think he is, anyway, telling me how to run my business?  SteinCorp is a multi-billion-dollar international manufacturing/energy/pharmaceutical conglomerate. If for one moment I let myself believe in human-caused climate change, I would have to seriously reconsider how we do business all over the world. Making changes on that scale would be inconceivably catastrophic to our bottom line.

And don’t lecture me about the poor. My business gives plenty to charity. And where would my employees in Bangladesh be without the $5 a day I pay them? And is it my fault that building collapsed? Like I can spend my time inspecting every one of our facilities around the world. Plus, they’re used to breathing air the color of dirt and handling poisons that would fell a bull elephant. Are any of them going to live one day longer if I shut down my factories and throw them out on the street?

What would you have me do–believe in what all those know-it-all scientists believe, or what is convenient and expedient for me to believe? Answer to the Pope or to my shareholders? Hmm, let me mull that one over.

Fortunately, the majority of the members of Congress, many of whom I have generously supported with massive campaign contributions (you’ll have to guess which ones. I don’t have to tell and neither do they), have my back on this one.  And I can tell you for a fact that most of them are not happy with this Pope one bit. So long as the Church was aligned with the Republican social agenda, we were all good. But now? How dare you meddle in politics?

So, Mr. High and Mighty Pope Francis, if you want to waste your life worrying about the planet, do it in private and stop bothering me. I have a company to run.

You’ll do yourself and the Church a lot more good if you get your nose out of my business and back into the bedroom, where it belongs.



Back to the real story of this election, which is the $4 BILLION spent–as much as (and possibly more than, when it’s all counted) the last presidential election.  Most of the money, thanks to the Supreme Court’s outrageous Citizens United decision and the inability of Congress to pass the Disclose Act, is secret. We simply have no idea who is behind the spate of ugly attack ads that dominated the election, but we can certainly guess. Let’s just say that that money isn’t being spent on good governance. It’s going to defeat candidates who might want to regulate those businesses. Like Wall Street banks, which would just as soon not have new financial regulations depress their ability to make gobs of money, no matter how much damage they do to the economy. Or oil conglomerates which would just as soon not have government tell them not to cut corners when building offshore  platforms. Or the Chamber of Commerce, which would just love to have the Bush tax cuts for the very wealthy made permanent. They’ve successfully stoked public anger to the point that people are quite willing, even eager, to vote against their own interests on behalf of these anonymous players in this election. We’ll see where this anti-government uprising leads.Ii, for one, don’t think it’s going to make us happy.