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New NRA Ad

The NRA yesterday released a genuinely despicable ad featuring Obama’s children. One can only imagine what their next assault on reason and propriety might be:

Video: Spilt screen: Still picture of Malia and Sasha Obama/picture of Secret Service agents

Audio: It’s bad enough that Obama’s children have round the clock protection from armed Secret Service agents, and yours don’t.

Video: Photo of Obama, as the words “ELITIST” and “HYPOCRITE” flash on screen

Video: Children walking down hallway in school building

Audio: Instead of being able to defend themselves openly, your kids have to hide their guns in their lockers at school. That’s bad and it’s wrong, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Video: Policemen hunkered down behind patrol cars, firing guns at unseen felons

Audio: The police carry their firearms right out in the open, and if a bad guy shoots at them, they can shoot back—any time, anywhere. But elitist hypocrites in Washington don’t want you to have the same right. They even want to prosecute brave, patriotic vigilantes who take the law into their own hands. They want you to be totally dependent on trained law enforcement agents to enforce the law. 

Video: Photo of White House, as words “ELITIST” and “HYPOCRITE” flash on screen

Video: American Soldiers on patrol in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Audio: Soldiers can carry powerful military weapons anywhere they want, and nobody minds.  But elitist hypocrites in Washington don’t want you to be able to defend yourself when Islamist militants attack your home. 

Video: Islamic militants firing weapons

Video: Man in gun shop filling out paperwork

Audio: And you can bet our soldiers don’t have to go through background checks and waiting periods before they fire back at the bad guys. And they never have anyone trying to take away their assault weapons and their high-capacity ammunition clips. But you try taking your legally-purchased AR-15 into a movie theater or a school and see what happens. The next thing you know elitist hypocrites in Washington are howling for your guns.

Video: Capitol Building, as words “ELITIST” and HYPOCRITE” flash on screen

Audio: And when the Marxist socialist president…

Video: Photo of Obama, as words “MARXIST” and “SOCIALIST” flash on screen

Video: American soldier aiming gun at camera

Audio: …orders those troops to take away your freedoms and turn your neighborhood into a concentration camp, you won’t be able to do anything about it. 

Video: Photo of Siberian prison

Audio: Remember, just because we make absolutely no sense and we’re insanely paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not coming for you. Hahahaha. High-pitched hysterical laughter, drowned out by a machine gun burst.

Video: Fade to black

Jan 3

New NRA Policy

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The National Rifle Association (NRA), stung by outrage over its response to the slaughter of 20 school children in Newtown, Conn., yesterday modified its stance on guns in schools.

NRA head Wayne LaPierre, speaking at a hastily-convened press conference, said, “in the heat of the moment, after the terrible events at Sandy Hook Elementary, I proposed that teachers and school officials all across the country be armed. I understand the anger people expressed after I made that statement. It was unfortunately incomplete, and gave people the wrong impression. For that I apologize.

"What I should have said was that everyone in every school should be armed. It’s not fair to expect teachers and principals alone to carry the burden of defending their schools, when the students could and should be armed, as well.

"What armed-to-the-gills lunatic in his right mind would try to invade a school if every child there was packing heat? Imagine what might have happened if instead of being in a gun-free zone, every six-year-old at Sandy Hook had had a serious weapon. That guy would’ve been toast. Sure, some kids and teachers might have been caught in the crossfire, but I bet you a nickel-plated slug the body count would have been a lot less."

"This policy would have other benefits, as well. Kids would think twice before starting arguments on the playground if they knew the other guy had a Bushmaster .223 tucked into his jeans. And no child is going to talk back to a teacher who has a Ruger in his desk drawer. Unless the kid has more firepower, of course, but that’s an issue for another time and place."

Reminded that half the students in high school probably already have guns in their lockers, LaPierre replied, “Yes, and I admit that’s a real problem. If some nutbag invades the school, there’s no time for the kids to go out in the hall and grab their Smith and Wessons. They should have them in their lunchboxes or in their briefcases where they can get to them quickly.

"Again, I apologize for my hasty comments after Newtown. I hope this clarifies the NRA’s position on the issue.

"One last thing before we adjourn. I’m personally appalled that some politicians and many in the media chose to use this terrible tragedy for political gain.

"That’s our job.”