Rand Paul is evolving. So is Jeb Bush. I expect Hillary Clinton to mutate rapidly as soon as she declares officially. It’s the miracle of modern politics. A process that takes nature millions of years takes politicians only minutes after discovering that their previously-held positions are being questioned by potential voters.
While natural selection generally favors qualities, like increased intelligence, that improve the species, political evolution seems to work only backward.
Senator Paul, within a nanosecond of throwing his hat in the ring, was announcing that his Iran policy had changed.
“As many of your are aware,” Paul stated in his much-anticipated announcement speech, “I once said that it would be unwise for Congress to further sanction Iran while the President was negotiating with them. It was a responsible and nuanced approach to a complicated issue.
“Forget I ever said that. As a senator I have certain responsibilities. But as a candidate for president I disavow responsibility and nuance. In fact, for the duration of the campaign I promise never to make a nuanced statement on any issue. You have my word on it.”
Meanwhile, former Florida governor Bush was doing his own evolving.
“Yeah, it was pretty funny that I accidentally called myself Hispanic when I registered. Now, some of you might think I was just trying to court the Hispanic vote, because in the past, unlike most Republicans, I’ve said some genuinely sensible things about immigration,” the latest Bush to run for the highest office explained.
“But that was before I evolved. Now I realize that if I’m going to win the nomination I have to be just as stupid as the rest of the GOP on the subject. I know lots of people think I’m the smart Bush, and that I should have been president instead of my brother George. But I’m here to tell you that I’m at least as dumb as he is, and maybe even dumber, especially on immigration.”
Hillary Clinton, who has yet to declare her candidacy, has not indicated how she will change once she is officially in the race. Her office would only comment that she currently is spending her time learning how to save emails.
“These new technologies aren’t easy for her,” a spokesperson said, ” but she’s evolving.”