Rick Santorum, the latest not-Romney to surge in the Republican primaries and caucuses, brings with him a religious absolutism that I find positively frightening. The man might well be running for Grand Inquisitor, given his hatred of gays, his disregard for the rights of women, and his contempt for much of the advances of the twentieth century, all the more surprising given that we’re well into the next century. He predictably would end the right to abortion, but beyond that, thinks the states should have the right to outlaw contraception, wants to end prenatal testing, finds public education an anachronism, and seems to believe that Satan himself is working for Obama, or vice versa. In Santorum’s world, we’d all be better off if our women were in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, where they would be home schooling our children in climate change denial. That this guy actually has a good chance of winning the nomination is a sign of how far to the insane right the Republican party has drifted. So, here is my vision of what a Santorum inauguration would look like.