Palin to Write History Book

Regnery Publishing announced today that it has signed Sarah Palin to write a definitive history of the United States. Regnery is the leading American conservative publisher. Terms of the deal were not disclosed, but a source close to Ms. Palin has confirmed that the deal includes an an advance in the high six figures.


The Regnery press release announcing the deal praised Ms. Palin’s shoot-from the-hip approach to the subject. “So many history texts are dull recitations of scrupulously researched data in complete and understandable English sentences. Sarah Palin’s careless disregard for the stuffy, uninteresting facts of history and her inability to frame a simple sentence will be a much-needed breath of fresh air.”


In addition to her recent revelation that Paul Revere made his famous midnight ride to warn the British that the British were coming, the book will correct a number of historical accuracies.  Among the more stunning revelations in the book: Abraham Lincoln never lived at his Gettysburg address; FDR’s reckless New Deal spending caused the Great Depression; and Ronald Reagan single-handedly scored 24 points in the fourth quarter to beat the Russians in the Cold War. According to one source who has seen an early version of the manuscript, readers will not want to miss her stirring account of General Patton’s charge at Bunker Hill and Ho Chi Minh’s subsequent surrender at Appomattox, which ended the Korean Conflict.


In related news, the Texas Board of Education announced that it will replace its current history textbooks with Ms. Palin’s book as soon as it is available, making it highly likely that most other states will be forced to follow suit.  “We already demand that history texts for Texas students support only an extreme conservative vision of America,and we expect Sarah Palin’s book to conform to our agenda nicely. Besides, today’s students don’t know horse puckey about their own history, and we expect this textbook to be a welcome addition to their almost total lack of education.”


Publishing date and price are unavailable at this time.

49 thoughts on “Palin to Write History Book”

  1. I heard the same except that it begins when dinosaurs and man were roaming DC which is the start our our country.

  2. pallinator talks as a child nailed in the cookie jar spitting out a stream of anything to back their own gaffes. this is a woman who was at 3 or 4 colleges to graduate in 6 years to be a sportscaster. I like smart people, yet I get her glass chin when encountering a person of education and intelligence and her concomitant rail against a person who can string together a cogent intelligible grammatically correct sentence and is capable to searching out a clarification or better answer instead of bulling ahead a fantastical whimsical cute retort. I get her means I know what she does, so easy. and enough other fools they continue to finance her new high flying lifestyle. she appeals to a lower common denominator, so i get those who cannot think for themselves are attracted the cute little button milf, one I prefer be as far away as possible, maybe there is a one way flight to the moon where she can rewrite history. “what a maroon”.

  3. I thought I was reading The Onion there for a minute. I clicked through to the page and realized it was only satire… *phew*

  4. The sad thing is that the reference to (and purported statements by) the Texas Board of Education could have been true (ie., not satire). Scary stuff!

    1. You actually think the crappy lineup of conservatives actually has a chance of beating Obama? It doesn’t matter how good he is, when they are so terrible. Romney is the only one who has a chance in the general election, and he’s not likely to make it through the nomination process.

        1. Actually, I found your cheerleading a little bit funny/absurd. Even you have to know by now the process that occurs for the republican nomination requires successful nominees to turn into mouthpeices for a faction of the party. The purity checks are a-comin.

          1. I am not as well versed as you about how the nomination comes about, but I do have a gut feeling that the candidate is going to be Romney and that doesn’t excite me. That gut feeling also tells me that he is a liberal disguised in republican clothing.

          2. “I am not as well versed as you about how the nomination comes about”

            You probably know more than you think. It’s very much a purity check for various factions, and even the Fox coverage makes that clear (without saying as much). That’s why the debates were so devoid of any real exchange.

            “but I do have a gut feeling that the candidate is going to be Romney and that doesn’t excite me.”

            He seems to be up for winning by attrition of the badness of the other candidates. Gingrich was out almost as fast as he was in. Pawlenty never had anything that made him interesting. Bachmann is unelectable. Palin is only slightly less unelectable. The list goes on, but the search for a white knight (no pun intended) is making it clear that this list of candidates is not appealing.

            “That gut feeling also tells me that he is a liberal disguised in republican clothing.”

            Only if what you don’t recognize that what defines a liberal or conservative has pulled very hard to the right. His health care plan, and Obama’s, are very much the conservative answer to universal health coverage. Defining previously conservative positions as “socialism” of course creates perverse changes in definition where you could consider Romney as “liberal” even though on the traditional scale that simply isn’t correct. If that’s confusing, look up a visual of the overton window.

  5. Don- you are describing a RINO, Rep In Name Only. In the old days before “W” most elected Congressman or Senators voted for the good of the country and that was good for a few centuries. “W” made the “You are either with me or against me” his mantra. Wonder how we got to this point in history no more. Rove planned for years to find someone to carry out his mission. He found “W” and the rest is history. “W” was rich, good connections, no too smart to see his plan and took time to lead him along.

    1. You don’t upset me when you bash Bush because I bashed him for eight years and I will be the first to admit that he is responsible for the mess we are in. The problem as I see it, is that we have a President that inherited a bad situation but does not have a clue as to how to turn this economy around.

      1. But you don’t see the similarity between the policies of Bush and the policies of republicans now? If anything, the difference is only one of degrees (in fact, doubling down).

  6. Did you hear about Sen Colburn? He said taxes are part of the solution to our problem. Why did he along with the GOP vote to extend the “W” tax cuts that got us into this economic mess?

    1. I suppose for the same reason President Obama went along with it. Overspending by the last two Administrations is the cause, not taxes or the lack of them.

      1. Not to be rude, but you do realize that unpaid for tax cuts are essentially new spending, right? It works the same way on the basic level of the budget. If you cut taxes without cutting spending, you increase the deficit. If you increase spending without raising taxes, you increase the deficit. Tax cuts are new spending, there is no debating that.

        Also, that explains the (tepid) popularity for the tax cuts, because they did not come with the cuts required to create a net zero financial effect.

        1. If unpaid for tax cuts are the same as spending, what can you buy with tax cuts? What if you cut taxes, do not decrease spending but decrease unemployment, how does that effect the deficit? You are teaching this class and since I am the student and not expected to know much, I thought I would ask.

          1. My point was that in reference to the budget, tax cuts are unfunded spending. They are very much similar to a deficit-funded stimulus package, and in fact the least effective parts of the stimulus were in fact temporary tax cuts/credits. The point, then, was that conservatives hold contradictory positions- you cannot both claim that you support no new spending and support tax cuts. From the perspective of the budget, it has the exact same effect on government expenditures.

  7. He did not want to extend the “W” tax cuts. The GOP held him hostage or unemployment benefits for million would have run out.

  8. If there is anything I have learned in visiting this website for the past two years, it is that a liberal cannot accept a fact or truth. Invariably, they will take a fact and spin it into excusing a failure on the part of their party or spin it into putting the blame on the GOP or someone else. Once in awhile, why can’t you just man up and say “hey, we goofed on that one?”

      1. I’ll make a statement that is spin proof and I would be willing to bet that one or more of you will attempt it.
        “When it comes to the economy, Jimmy Carter is the worst President we have had in the past sixty years.”

        1. Ok – so we’re now accepting one person’s opinion for fact or truth. Facts (and/or truth) is something that is empirically true and can be supported by evidence, while an opinion is a belief that may or may not be backed up with some type of evidence.

          If you’re going to make such a broad statement, can you provide facts or truth to back it up?

        2. Except Carter didn’t actually do much economically. Most of what happened during his time in office were long-term trends he had no control over. Specifically, the slowdown of all (and I mean all) western economies.

  9. So the tax cuts by “W”, his increase spending on Medicare, his war in Iraq, his bailout (Yes, began under “W”) along withthe 7 times he increased the debt limit had no effect on the deficit or the economy. I admit the Left was the cause and we killed Santa Claus & the Easter bunny along with it.

    1. Now that is a statement that I totaly agree with and since I never thought that day would ever come, I’m going to leave you on that!
      It has been fun.

  10. I call em like I see em.

    So what is your opinion on Clinton? Let’s not forget he had the largest tax increase in history, 22,000,000 jobs were added tot he private sector and he eliminated over 325,000 Federal jobs while having the debt paid off.

    Regan lowered taxes, added debt, increased Federal jobs by over 60,000 and had the 1986 Immigration Act. So what is jury on him?

    1. OK, one more time – I like Clinton, his first two years were a disaster but after getting trounced in 94, he moved to the center and did a remarkable job for the next six years. I didn’t vote for him in 92 as I voted for Perot as a protest vote that I didn’t like either candidate. I voted for Clinton in 96. He did a good job as President.

      1. Sorry, I didn’t address your quiery as to Reagan. I love him, admittedly my business suffered immensely during the first two years of his Presidency but he turned the economy around and we all received the benefits of a growing economy for the rest of his term.

        He let the world know that we were #1, never wavered when confronted with a tough decision and ended the Cold War. He’s tops in my book when asked to rate a President.

  11. yes, but he increased the deficit more in 8 years thatn the prior 200 years, added more to federal payroll, passed a bill for Immigration which today are all bad things yet they all love Reagan. Go figure how the currnet GOP can love him.

    1. I don’t know if you remember the Carter and Reagan years but Reagan inherited a bad situation similar to what Obama inherited from Bush but with some great differences. When Carter left office we had a 21% prime rate, an inflation rate of 14%, the moral of the military was at an all time low, our defenses had been slashed to the point that at one time we were unable to get 1/3 of our aircraft airborne due to the shortage of parts and we were in a Cold War with the Soviet Union. Now that is inheriting a bad situation.

      Yes, he increased our deficit primarily due to rebuilding our military. If he hadn’t, english may not be our primary language today.

    1. I find it ironic that you constantly criticize republicans for spending when our current President has increased our debt by one trillion dollars every seven months since he has been in office.

    1. You just proved the point I made that liberals can spin anything and make themselves believe that everything is someone else’s fault. It reminds me of some spinning I do – I know that each night I spend in my motor home costs me at least $300.00, yet I manage to convince myself that I am saving money on motels.

  12. In 2010 a USA Today analysis reported that federal civil servants earned in 2009, on average, twice as much in pay and benefits ($123,049), including unrealized pension benefits, as the average private worker ($61,051). Average benefits were worth $41,791, most of it due to pensions. The average federal salary grew 33% faster than inflation from 2000 to 2009. Average compensation grew 36.9% since 2000, after adjusting for inflation, compared with 8.8% for private workers. The federal compensation advantage had grown from $30,415 in 2000 to $62,000 in 2009.

    So much for small Gov’t.

    1. Careful with those comparisons. The broad comparisons are ineffectual and can force you to come to conclusions that are not accurate. Look at anything that breaks down by education level and you’ll see a much, much smaller difference. The higher your education level generally the less you are paid in the government vs the private sector.

  13. If you want to balance the budget any increase in spending needs increase in taxes or cut something from the budget. This is not spin but math. So where were you and the GOP when all this spending occured?

    1. I believe spending by Democrats under Obama have increased our debt more in just over two years than the Republicans under Bush did in eight years. Is this not correct?

  14. Not sure as the “W” budgets were over $5 Billion. A lot of moany was committed by “W” before he left.

    The Federal payroll is a gift that keeps on giving and it now belongs to Obama.

    1. I said previously that I was going to sign off and I jumped right back in. Bantering with you has been enjoyable, but I am going to sign off and enjoy reading the comments of others. Have a good evening.

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