Nine-Year-Olds With Uzis

What the Hell is wrong with us?

How did we get to the point in this country where this was possible?

By now you’ve seen the video of that nine-year-old girl accidentally killing her firing range instructor with an Uzi.

I’m sure we all agree that this tragic accident totally preventable, if any of the parties involved had had an ounce of common sense. Understand, I’m not blaming the girl. Clearly, it wasn’t HER fault. She’s only nine, and she was unfamiliar with a weapon that powerful, a gun designed by the Israeli military for its soldiers to use in combat.

I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. I don’t blame her parents. In fact, I applaud their courage. They were just doing their constitutional duty to make sure that their daughter was properly armed and ready to defend herself and her family against our government when it decides to take away our freedoms, which could be any day now if Obama gets his way.

So who’s fault was it? The instructor’s, of course. If you saw the video, you couldn’t help noticing that he was unarmed! Standing right next to a little girl with a powerful automatic weapon that can fire 100 rounds a minute! What was he thinking? What the Hell was he thinking?

Had he been properly equipped, as he should have been,  with superior firepower, and in the correct defensive position, as soon as that Uzi started to get away from the kid, he’d have been able to take her down before she could shoot him. Yes, it would have been sad if the kid had died instead of him, but in a dangerous world that’s the price we have to pay for our liberty.

Because only when each and every American has a gun aimed at all times at every other American will we truly achieve the freedom our Founding Fathers envisioned when they so wisely crafted the Second Amendment.

Freshly Squeezed 8/27/2014


My kids are out of school now, but I well remember those first school days at the end of summer when the classrooms were baking and the little darlings returned home quite well done. I’m guessing that Denver wasn’t so warm in the summer when the schools were built, before global warming made summers here more like the ones I grew up with in Texas.

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How dare President Obama play golf when stuff is happening in the world!

How could he even THINK of taking a vacation when ISIS is beheading Americans and Iraq and Afghanistan are in turmoil and Israel and the Palestinians are at war and Russia is behaving badly?

You don’t see Republicans in Congress taking a vacation, do you? Well, okay, turns out Congress is on vacation, too, but since it doesn’t actually do anything those days there isn’t any discernible difference from when it’s in session, except that the House hasn’t voted to repeal Obamacare this week.

But back to the subject at hand: what if something really bad happens while Obama’s on the golf course, out of contact with everyone except all his advisors, his cabinet, our allies, the Joint Chiefs and the guy who carries the briefcase? It could be a catastrophe! ISIS might behead another journalist! Iraq and Afghanistan might explode! Russia might invade another country! Israel and the Palestinians might keep fighting!

I know what you’re thinking. These things happened when Obama was sitting at his desk in the White House, too, wearing a suit and tie instead of a golf shirt. But there’s a vitally important difference. He doesn’t look very presidential in a golf cart, and, fair or not, it’s all about image.

Do we really want the president to look rested and ready to handle the challenges of the day after a welcome few hours of recreation,  or do we want an exhausted, beleaguered chief executive who’s spends all his waking hours holed up in the situation room

The President of the United States, the head of the most powerful nation on earth (we keep saying that about ourselves, even if it might not actually be true anymore) needs to LOOK like he’s fully engaged and in charge, even if there’s absolutely no difference in his ability to make decisions or take action whether he’s in the Oval Office or at Camp David.

Remember when Dubya was criticized for playing golf during his presidency, and had the grace and the courage to give it up until his term was over? Saved his legacy, right?

So, Mr. President, no more golf until the world settles down, okay?

A nation desperate for leadership needs you to look really, really presidential all the time, even if we’ve already tuned you out and are spending most of our time wondering who’s going to challenge Hillary in 2016.




Freshly Squeezed 8/24/14


Ah, the challenge of dealing with climate change. Can anything any one person does make any difference at all? I can reduce my carbon footprint to zero, with what global result? Zip. On the other hand, if I set an example, and others do the same–if everyone does something–there will be an impact, won’t there? But will it be enough? If the US finally curbs its outsized appetite for dirty energy but China and India do nothing, will it matter? This kind of thinking makes my head hurt. Might as well play golf and worry about it later.

Freshly Squeezed 8/23/14


The last in the series of Sam’s (and my) indulgence in midlife (mine would be a tad later) introspection. This one may be truer to my psychic makeup than the previous ones. I grew up on superhero comics, and I was infatuated as a kid by the art of cartooning because that world was more real and vibrant to me than the drab one I happened to inhabit. I was lucky enough to make a living drawing those silly pictures, but I never quite gave up the impossible dream of living in the world on the other side of the pen.

Americans Stunned that Race Still an Issue

Americans this morning expressed shock and disbelief over the continuing racial unrest in Ferguson, MO.

“I thought we were all done with that,” said Melanie P. Granville, interviewed at her home in Tuscaloosa, AL.

“Racial tension? Isn’t that a band?” asked Joseph Warbler, of Atlanta, GA.

People from all parts of the country were shaken by the angry demonstrations and the heavy-handed police response after the death of Michael Brown, an unarmed African-American teenager shot by an unidentified policeman in Ferguson.

“I honestly thought we were living in a post-racial era,” lamented Scott Pleasantry, a Memphis, TN , gas station attendant. “I mean, we have a black president, and you never hear that even being brought up. Everyone’s just fine with that, right?”

Tasha Hartman of Chicago, IL, remarked, “Has anyone ever seen such an excessive show of force by police? It’s just weird.”

The chaos in Ferguson was the topic of discussion among a group sitting at a lunch counter in Selma, AL.

“I don’t get it. You just don’t hear about police anywhere having run-ins with minorities,” a young man who identified himself as John said. “Maybe once and a while in New York, but not in the  South.”

“Even in New York, I’m sure that flap about Barney’s profiling black customers was just an aberration.”

“Sure, there’s some talk about voter ID laws being aimed at suppressing minority voting and stuff, but that’s pretty much a thing of the past, right?” Jane added.

“When was the last time a state like Florida gerrymandered a bunch of majority white districts?” asked George. “It’s unheard of today.”

“And the moves in Congress to cut off welfare and food stamps and unemployment insurance, kill Obamacare and not raise the minimum wage, that’s just all about balancing the budget. None of those have any racial impact, do they?”

“Of course not,” Phil replied. “And it’s not like the justice system fills the prisons with blacks and hispanics these days. We’ve moved past that, haven’t we?”

“And we’re no longer weird about immigration, either,” Jane added. Didn’t the House just agree it’s actually good for the country to let kids fleeing drug gangs in South America to start a new life here?”

“And of course they want to come here, where people are judged by the content of their character, not by the color of their skin, where it’s perfectly safe to be black or brown.” agreed John.

“Who would have dreamed that what’s going on in Ferguson could happen in 21st Century America?”





Bergdahl Blues

Critics of the Obama administration today bitterly objected to the military’s investigation of the capture and imprisonment of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl by the Taliban.

“Allowing Bergdahl to tell his story is an outrage,” a spokesman for HATO (Haters of All Things Obama) said  Wednesday. “We already know all we need to know,”

The release of Sgt, Bergdahl in exchange for five Taliban detainees in May created a brief political firestorm, with opponents of the administration and even some members  of his unit accusing Bergdahl of deserting and Obama of paying too high a ransom for someone they considered to be a traitor.

According to Eugene Fidell, one of Bergdahl’s lawyers, Sgt. Bergdahl has been open and cooperative with the investigation.

“That just proves how devious the man is,” the spokesman for HATO said. “He’s had five years to perfect his story. If he didn’t have anything to hide, would he be this willing to spin his web of deceit? It will be a sad day if his story holds together and people come to believe that he isn’t who we say he is.

“We rushed to judgement in May based on the very sincere belief that anything we accuse Obama of must be true because we hate him so much, and nothing we’ve heard or seen since has changed our minds.  And at this late date we certainly don’t expect anything Bergdahl says, no matter how true it may seem to unbiased observers, to move us in any way.

“Even if they decide he’s innocent and return him to active duty, it will just be further proof of how much Obama has corrupted this country’s once  great military.

“We made up our minds a long time ago. The facts won’t change that.”



The online home of editorial cartoonist, writer and analyst Ed Stein.