Here we go again.
Sports Authority, the giant sporting goods chain, has declared bankruptcy, not that I really care. At my age I’m no longer particular about where I buy the goods for my rapidly-diminishing athletic needs.
But I do care about the name of the place where my beloved Broncos, the reigning NFL champions (YAY!), play. Old-timer traditionalists like myself will never accept any name other than Mile High Stadium. It’s probably a vain hope, given that money is involved, that the stadium authority will finally tire of the round-robin of naming rights and restore the once and only proper name.
At least that dreadful first attempt at a compromise with history, Invesco Field at Mile High (what or where is Mile High?), mercifully vanished when Invesco Field became Sports Authority Field (no longer at mile high) in 2011.
One of the rumors floating around is that Sports Authority might be bought out by Dick’s Sporting Goods, which brings up a fascinating possibility.
Some history first: when the current structure was built in 2001 to replace the crumbling Mile High Stadium, some wag decided that its lithe curvelinear form resembled nothing so much as a diaphragm. Fortunately, that notion never caught on, and the disturbing image of violent men playing for territorial advantage inside a woman’s contraceptive device faded from memory.
But, what if Sports Authority does become Dick’s, and the naming rights are transferred? Will the Broncos now practice their manly profession in diaphragm-shaped Dick’s Field?
Which will surely be referred to, simply, as “The Dick?”
I may have to give up my season tickets.